Some of these must be apocryphal. Thanks to Karen and Hank Grudzien. I like Shearer’s near the end.
“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.” David Beckham
“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.” Mark Viduka
“Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level. Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level. But he’s the best manager I’ve ever had.” David Beckham
“If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.” Neville Southall
“I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.” Paul Gascoigne
“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as
well.” Alan Shearer
“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” Mark Draper
“You’ve got to believe that you’re going to win, and I believe we’ll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we’re knocked out.” Peter Shilton
“I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don’t want to leave Leicester.” Stan Collymore
“I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.” Ade Akinbiyi
“Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.” Ian Wright
“I’m as happy as I can be – but I have been happier.” Ugo Ehiogu
“Leeds is a great club and it’s been my home for years, even though I live in
Middlesborough.” Jonathan Woodgate
“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.” Stuart Pearce
“I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was myright.” Lee Hendrie
“I couldn’t settle in Italy- it was like living in a foreign country.” Ian Rush
“Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there
today.” Steve Lomas
“I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.” Barry Venison
“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” David Beckham
“The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European.” Phil Neville
“All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.” Mitchell Thomas
“One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.” Alan Shearer
“I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.” Johnny Giles
“Sometimes in football you have to score goals.” Thierry Henry
You probably know the entire list of real or apocryphal Bobby Robsonisms but Football 365 once had a list of seventy supposed such.
Actually, these things are always a bit rough on the accredited speakers. Everyone says stupid things in real life. It is because one is thinking of the next thing or the last thing as one is speaking and the two fuse into a piece of nonsense. Writing them would be different. In any case I don’t go for the Beckham thick as two short planks argument, if only because it is never an argument. I love the non-sequiturs of course, as I do a bit of schadenfreude now and then, and am even aware these things can be affectionate (as with the teasing of Crouch), but sometimes I think it’s just the usual case of semi-bright Guardianistas patronising the upstart working class.
But what the hell. They are funny.
I’ve always found it perplexing that otherwise sensible people are so prepared to judge someone’s intelligence on their public speaking performances. GWB is the main example these days. And if a person can indeed survive in front of a microphone – either it’s, oratory is dead! or, that was messianic bullshit.. So there’s no way you can be sure to win.