World Cup 2018: Remembering My Russian

When I heard the news that the Russian Federation would host the 2018 World Cup despite a near-perfect bid from England, I remembered my Russian. My Russian was one of the very few great men I consider myself to have met. You won’t have heard of him, and I won’t give you his name. Our…

England v Algeria: Not Fear, But F*** Off

Four years ago, the press wanted an English manager who understood English players and the English culture. They got one. It didn’t work.  Then they wanted the players’ backsides (so arrogant! so wealthy! so.. what that bloke just said!) given a kicking. A disciplinarian – all Capello will now be remembered as – was duly…

Slapstick

Athletics, cricket and swimming have their blooper reels and ice hockey its fights. But only football has cock-up at its core. Only in football is savage and ridiculous public error key to so many significant moments and germaine to so many results. That’s down to the random element, of course, and (let’s get it over…

Christmas 2009: Scotland v Brazil 1974

Scotland drew the World Champions – and such World Champions! in their first round at their first World Cup. And played them off the park. Only Rivelino would have deserved a place in Willie Ormond’s side that day. Scotland could, if they wished, remember 1974 for this. Only the Netherlands, against the same opponents, would…

Histrionics, Hair Gel.. and a Quarter Final From Hell

You’d have asked for anyone save Portugal. It’s one for the remaining band who believe that the lesser the opposition, the better our chances. For the rest of us, we can only hope that England stir themselves, and trust in something more interesting for the semi-final. Brace yourselves for a week of the following stories…

World Cup 2006: First Round Review

A little late, perhaps, as I’ve already seen German gamesmanship sneak them past Sweden in their second-round tie, and I’ve already watched (yet another) epic Argentine victory, this time over an excellent Mexico. That match, at any rate, lived up to the extraordinary standards that the tournament’s set so far, and my worries that things…